its been 3 bloody days

all i have on my mind is something very pervertic....yeah thats what most ppl would think once they found out....its taboo according to my society.....its the cardinal sin according my religion.....its the ultimate thing which can humiliate me in a matter of minutes.....but its something that comes natural to most human beings....but me being impotent such feelings bring abt a tidal wave of emotions....its like there is no escape...its cannot be stopped....it cannot be suppressed....it cannot be controlled....it can only be passed through with plenty of patience....and all the blessing from the Holy God to please not let u be the prey of some stupid decision taken in a jiffy.....i was just telling my friend salman abt it....and our conversation led to many other topics....and.....man this thing is overtaking my personality as a whole....its like there are these 4 walla surrounsding u....u have to sit amongst them....if u do....u gotta think like them....i know im making no sense at all mostly cuz my brother is on my tail to use the PC which according to him he rarely gets to use....now we all know that it aint true....but know what?! he is my brother....he drives to the wierdest places....takes care of me....and brought home for the two of us two adorable kittens.....my sympathies with those who are right now going through what i am going through....its an nightmare....i know.